depression

What's making me depressed is being in this town, in this place, with these people, with these masks, with these projections, with the people having the ideals and energy they have and them being fine with it and especially the silent expectation from my mom and parents. I'm depressed because this is not who I am and what I'm meant to do and I'm depressed people don't see more in me and people's happiness is so empty and meaningless and what they consider nice is empty to me and what they like is just a taught mask and they don't see or believe in magic and they like the what I deem as toxic or just a mask and a lie (I have throat chakra activation).  That's the thing I woke up into every day and it's the 
"forbidden love" or the burden I have, it's the never being seen and not belonging in this family, in the community, in the current dogma, in this county, in this realm, in the vibration, on this earth, on this stellar system. Yet being projected this oh happy little forest finnish little mom little country girl little fool little idk conservative basic little whatever doesn't really matternot much anything but it doesn't  matter!!I hope you eat lots here you have some candy. Yeah I don't like you, love you, want you, need you, are you. Forbidden? maybe just hidden 

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