leaving the November 2024 case

I keep on playing a victim and giving into stuff I know is not good for me and sabotaging and taking this panic mode and I feed fear and play helpless or dumb.  I keep on forcing other's negative energies upon me, especially ones I'm hurt by or I don't like or I know are not for me. Or I simply  keep letting  in outside energy and I purposefully draw it and look for things I could be hurt by. it started last November when I disagreed and still do and always will, with a friend and I got guilt and anger and I ended up doing the what I do. Then the thing spread to other areas and I began to give into wrong people or letting blaming voices or other people's trauma or negative energies or fears in. It's this trip in the lower realms and the main theme is giving into others -- instead of what I know or what is my intuition or what my body says. It's sabotage but also doubt and victimization and avoiding what I know and playing weak and it leads to in an NPC mode. I have been getting this toxic gratification from all of it but I'm going to stop it.

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